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As a business leader, it can be tempting at times to assume too much control—including control of conversation. While it is important to maintain your supervisorial presence, your ability to step back and observe is just as important to the overall success of your team. One of the biggest mistakes a supervisor can make is talking too much and not listening enough.

Erika Andersen, author of Leading So People Will Follow and a key Forbes.com contributor, has found through personal experience that sometimes “just keeping your mouth closed is the best possible thing you can do as a leader.” She often advises CEOs and senior management members to refrain from monopolizing the conversation, especially in team meetings. Doing so encourages your employees to express their own ideas more freely, and you might be surprised to hear a suggestion you hadn’t previously considered.

There is an art to silence, however. You can’t just clam up and expect your employees to take the wheel… particularly if you are the type who usually assumes total control of business meetings. Andersen suggests gradually withdrawing from the limelight in a way that encourages the rest of your team to step up in your stead.

Here are some field-tested tips to help you on your way to proactive silence:

  1. Give your employees a heads-up. Suddenly changing tactics can be even more intimidating than you being a figurative minister, so if you don’t typically ask your team for their perspective, give them plenty of time to prepare for this new challenge. You could give them a verbal warning—a casual “Hey, we’re going to discuss such-and-such at tomorrow’s team meeting, and I’d like to know your thoughts” would be sufficient—or send a more detailed e-mail memo around the office a couple of days in advance. This way, your employees will step into the meeting room prepared to share (and more willing to express) their own ideas and opinions. In return, you get innovative, progressive thinking from several viable sources rather than from just your own head.

  2. Invite conversation. As the leader, it is totally okay (and expected) for you to start the proceedings. Get things rolling with a brief introduction or overview of the meeting’s agenda, making sure to reiterate your request for input before stepping aside. Be prepared for a bit of awkward silence—most people are reluctant to speak first, so unless you have an extremely extrovert member on your team, these little pauses are bound to happen. “If you have respectfully invited your folks’ point of view ahead of time about a topic that’s interesting to them and with which they’re familiar,” Andersen says, “someone will eventually say something, as long as you don’t fill in the gap out of habit or nervousness.”

  3. Welcome what your employees have to say. Once your team has opened up, it’s important to monitor your feedback to their suggestions, as that can either encourage them to continue… or have them shut down completely. If someone comes up with a great solution, simply acknowledge it for what it is, making sure to refer to the group for ideas on how implement or realize the suggestion. However, if someone makes a comment that you aren’t in agreement with, don’t immediately cut the person down. Instead, Andersen advises that you take the “LCS” approach: Likes, Concerns, Suggestions. Start by discussing what you genuinely like about the person’s idea, then follow up with a couple of concerns (e.g. “I’m not sure it’s financially feasible” or “I’m concerned about the time frame required,” etc.). Ask the person (and the rest of the group) for suggestions on how to address the concerns. “This approach keeps the idea in play, helps your people think more strategically and logically about the merits and costs of an idea, and—most important—feels deeply collaborative,” Andersen claims.

  4. Make it happen. Nothing encourages employees more than to see their ideas put into action. It lets them know you really value their contributions and inspires them to add more… especially if you give them public recognition.

  5. Now, stop talking. You’ve gotten everyone involved in the discussion, and you’ve made your point. It’s time to be quiet. Andersen has found that some of the reasons leaders tend to over-talk have to do with internal vs. external personal conflict, such as 1) the leader doesn’t know what he/she wanted to say, leading to tangential rambling, 2) he or she is nervous, 3) he/she is under the impression that talking is the leader’s job, or finally 4) he or she simply enjoys the sound of his/her own voice and likes having a captive audience. The solution to the problem? Spend some self-reflection time to find out why you as a leader might be talking too much and adjust your internal monologue to support a change in behaviour.silence

  6. LISTEN. If you do none of the above, at least listen. “If you’re listening, you’re not talking—and you’re also finding out critical stuff, building relationships, and creating a culture of respect and transparency.” Andersen claims listening—real listening—can be like magic: people will talk to you if you’re genuinely paying attention to them, asking questions and restating the important points of what they’re saying.

 

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